I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
