she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i dont even know how to be here
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
