So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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