The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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