nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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