She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
