you didnt know i had herpes?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His nipple licking is glorious
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