Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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