hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
