I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
