I cut my penus on the lid.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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