so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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