omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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