Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
