Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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