Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
