I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
