Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
