im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
