omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
