is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
