Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
