Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
