you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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