so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
