i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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