When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
