I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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