Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
