I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Church boner. Awkwardddd
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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