i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
