she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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