I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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