just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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