I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
