Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
