No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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