i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think I won the penis lottery.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
