i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
