it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
