Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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