I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
