Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
