i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
