remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
