and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
