its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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