but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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