I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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