Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
