i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
