I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
