Your tits are I can't wait for
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
