Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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