i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
